Crosstown Traffic

Have you ever had a shower with a dead rock icon?

Think really hard, as it is the sort of experience that can slip the mind in a jiffy.

I had a shower with Jimi Hendrix yesterday. I expect that half of you reading this have never heard of him. He was the Amy Winehouse of his day; that is, he was dead at 27 after a turbulent relationship with a number of controlled substances. The mists of time have clouded things a little and I like to think he had more class than poor Amy, in reality he probably didn't. Choking to death is NOT CLASSY. Ever.

He could riff like no one else (again, under 20's - look up riff on wiki if you don't know what it means.)

Anyway, I had a shower with him yesterday. And it was lovely. A near perfect shower actually. One more wicket would have made it perfect.

We hosted the league leaders, Horspath II yesterday. Unbeaten in two years, a formidable proposition, perhaps.

Having dutifully lost the toss and therefore saving me the, for once difficult decision of what to do, we were invited to have first dig.

Jules and Pritch put on 60 for the first wicket and never looked in too much trouble against a bowling attack that to a number of neutral observers was the best seen in many years. Against such tight line and length runs were scarce and at drinks we had just 62 on the board. Crucially, with the loss of only Jules for a well made 34.

Pritch is not known for enjoying scratching around, he much prefers to crack on. The discussion at drinks was short; carry on as you are, keep wickets in hand, runs will come later.

He did just that and was third out in the 48th over with the score on 164. A fine innings of 77, chiseled out of rock. Of course there were a number of dot balls, on the whole it was a model of restraint, patience and concentration. It was also exactly what we needed. The foundation of the innings and therefore the perfect platform to launch our middle order. This brought Henry 'Shock' Brisland and Connor 'Awe' Morrison to the crease.

What happened next was the cricketing equivalent of a bunker buster. Delivered from a great height, with precision, and engineered to leave no trace.

The last 5 overs added 74 runs and left Horspath reeling around wondering what the f**k had hit them. Bris had hit them. Once, very hard, in the face.

Pritch had worked so hard for 48 overs for 77, Bris took about 30 balls to hit his 67 not out, five 6's were dispatched, balls were lost, bowling figures were decimated. Fun was had, basically. 240 for 3 is a good score any week, against Horspath was that little bit sweeter.

We all enjoyed a fine spread at tea. The vanilla slices were a personal favourite. Bris ate more than is healthy, he had earned it though.

Would Horspath try to chase? We hoped so., as we have too many Shallow attempts in the past couple of years when teams don't bother.

Tight opening spells from T'Gravy and The Archbishop built pressure. A wicket apiece. Horspath, 50 for 2 in the 19th over. In the balance.

Jules entered the fray and destroyed the middle order to leave Horspath 125 for 7 from 38 overs. Only one team in it, Horspath haven't lost for two years though so would fight to the final ball. T'Gravy came back for a surgeon defying second spell, he removed our achilles heel - T'path skipper, Manger. 127 for 8, 8 overs left.

Surely another last ditch victory would be ours. Those of you paying attention will have worked out that we didn't get it. We had them nine down, but couldn't quite finish them off.

So, Horspath escaped with a draw and 4 points. We had beaten them though. And everyone knew it.

We dominated 100 overs and showed what talent, determination and fight we can bring when everything clicks in to place. It was so nearly the perfect performance and showed the value of two entirely different but equally valuable innings in setting a score and then backing that up with guile, variation and concentration in the field. My only regret? You'll have to ask me that face to face.

Never has Crosstown Traffic sounded so good whilst soaping your nuts.

Heartbreaker

Good evening Diddymen and good evening to any guests. An apology firstly for the delay - having written previously about how irritating wasps are, last night one went out of it's way to prove my point by crawling inside my shoe and promptly stinging me when I had the audacity to put it on.

One bout of anaphylactic shock later I am now left with a comedy Elephant Man style swollen foot, at least the heart palpitations and chronic low blood pressure have gone.

Anyway, enough of my woes. What happened against Cropredy? I hear you mutter.

Anticipation was high and the appetite was keen as we gathered at the FOD. A washout last week preceded seven days earlier by the thrashing of Banbury XX meant that we hadn't had much cricket for nearly 3 weeks.

Having lost the toss I was pleasantly surprised to find ourselves bowling anyway. We got off to a great start with an early wicket before Cropredy put together a very useful 2nd wicket partnership. we dropped a couple of chances and Hussain and Orchard made us pay. The Archbishop was particularly unlucky to remain wicketless in another fine opening spell.

With the score well past the hundred it was down to the spinners to put a brake on things. The Judge got one through the defences of Hussain with a smart catch from Bris off Jordan taking care of Orchard.

The pendulum swung and Cropredy never recovered the momentum they had enjoyed as Jules ripped through the middle order. A couple of smart catches from Crab Hands at slip and no other drops together with two run outs contributed to a decent fielding performance.

We ate our tea feeling confident we would chase down 205 and be home early.

The first 100 came up at nearly 6 an over with only the loss of one wicket, happy days. Matt made everything look very easy as he breezed to a fifty at less than a run a ball, well supported by Pritch, with another 30 odd, it all looked very comfortable.

Cropredy had other ideas. The introduction of leg spinning wunderkid S Hussain accounted for Matt; Doug soon followed Pritch back. Still we didn't need to worry, did we? 60 odd to win with Jules and Bris at the crease, on paper we were still in charge. It didn't feel like that from the boundary, I can tell you.

As if it were written in the stars we were 8 down, some smart bowling, one brilliant gully catch and some dumb batting putting the pressure right back on us. Still needing 20 odd from 4 overs. Didcot 2011 vintage doesn't win comfortably. Surely we wouldn't throw it away, would we?

Jordan went out to bat like an American Pilot hopped up on amphetamines. It worked, one boundary was followed by the biggest six anyone has ever seen at the FOD, out of the ground and onto the ring road. Fetch that!

In the end the gnarly old pro's saw us home with an over to spare and 9 down. Far tighter than it should have been, but 25 points none the less.

Credit is due to Cropredy who played some great cricket and never stopped going for the win. There league position doesn't reflect the way they played on Saturday and I'm sure their first win isn't far away.

We prepare for Horspath, top of the league and seemingly unbeatable.

Dazed and Confused

Good evening blog fans.

Yesterday's game at the Field of Dreams was like so many things in life, full of anticipation and then ever so slightly disappointing once consumed. I find chocolate is that way; unlike a fat cohiba which is big on anticipation and never disappoints.

Our visitors were the second tranche of Banbarians in as many weeks. This time from XX, no idea why XX, and don't care really.

I had been warned that they were weak, something their lowly league position seemed to confirm. The pre start warnings were all about the potential for a banana skin type result and that we must remain focused and not take our foot off their throat once we had them pinned down.

This tactic seemed to work rather well as we had them at 25 for 6 off not many overs. We must not let them off the hook though. We didn't. They crumbled like a very crumbly thing.

53 all out. Northern Gravy's medium paced swing bowling had been too much for them; he ended with 6 for 23 and was well supported by The Don, 2 for 18 and Two Tone Head, 2 for 4.

It was barely lunch time, so far to early for tea. Best crack on. We did. 11 overs later it was all over, the majority of the runs coming in boundaries.

Not much more to say really. They will be relegated. We now have to push on, starting at Thame next week.

We are 4th and everything is bunching up at the top. Top two is within reach. It is purely a test of how much we want it now. I know I do, what about the rest of you??

Jump Around

The air was heavy and thick with thunder bugs yesterday at the Field of Dreams. The sort of day that often ends in a storm; the sort of day that is perfect for drinking rum based cocktails out of tin mugs; the sort of day that is ideal for shooting alligator.

No rum or alligators in our part of Didcot, so a game of cricket seemed like a reasonable way to spend the afternoon instead.

It turned out to be one of those days that is made for cool, calm heads and one of those days with the sort of finish you only get every 5 years or so; or if you are Didcot, twice in a month.

Electing to have a bat after winning the toss seemed like a splendid idea, and at 90 for 1 in the 16th over all was well with the world. Matt and Pritch were moving along serenely, surely it was now a matter of when to declare. 22 overs later at 139 for 7 it looked a little bleaker. Matt had gone for a fine 72, the Banbarian umpire should have gone to specsavers. That was never LBW. Our middle order had disappeared, we were now in real trouble.

Two gnarled old pro's mixed reckless stroke play with dogged defence and 200 seemed like a possibility. We fell a little short at 192.

The Banbarian spinners had bowled a tight line and length and got just enough turn on a real bunsen of a pitch. Well played.

As we all enjoyed a splendid tea in the sunshine we were very glad of the start that the top 3 had given us. 192 should be enough I thought.

A dream start saw one of the openers depart in the first over, a superb one handed catch by Brockett, millimeters above the grass.

A stuttering recovery was snuffed out by Jules and Jordan, Both getting pant wetting amounts of turn they reduced Banbury to 50 odd for 4. One more wicket and we would be through them, we thought.

Banbury also had a gnarled old pro and he joined a young greenhorn. They fought back and the game tightened. % an over from the last 20 or so and only 4 down.

One wicket would change things, surely. We had to wait a while, but when it came it did change things, as so often happens it brought another with it, and another. By now Jones and Taylor were back on for second spells and had picked up a couple of wickets a piece.

Megson was still at the crease, now joined by proper tail enders. A Banbury win was now unlikely as the run rate had climbed to 12 an over with only two wickets left. Could Megson block and resist the temptation to nail a long hop through the covers. No, he couldn't. Caught behind. GAME ON!!!

One wicket needed and a handful of balls left. A couple popped up and fell agonisingly short and we were now into the last over.

Matt Jones was bowling from the Matt Jones End. A cannot remember what happened with the first 4 balls. I will remember the fifth until I die. Middle stump. Knocked back.

Cue wild celebrations; hugging, tender caresses of flaxen locks and possibly the odd squeeze of a buttock.

The result was never in doubt of course!!

We sang our song and passed around the special celebration shower gel. I love this game and I love this club. Next week cannot come quickly enough..............

Only Shallow

The firsts game at Shallow yesterday had a real sense of Deja Vu about it as the hosts yet again demonstrated their monumental lack of wit, enthusiasm, attacking flair and will to win. They are to cricket what Mourinho's Inter Milan were to Football, except they don't win anything. Anti Cricket.

It's a shame really because the ground and facilities are among the best there is.

Asked to have a bat we were delighted to take advantage of the pitch. We lost a couple of early wickets and then Matt followed at 65 for 3. Were we worried? Not. One. Bit.

Connor joined Bris at the crease and they took the score to 190. Bris played his best innings in a Didcot shirt and unluckily fell 6 short of his maiden ton. Shot of the day was the swept 6 to the longest boundary at the ground, there was a lovely straight drive for 4 early in the innings that was darn good as well. Bris will have to wait a week for his ton.

Connor continued his rich vain of form and ended his innings on 58 with the score north of 200. We declared on 221. More than enough I thought.

A rather splendid tea was taken inside as we watched Jade Dernbach doing his best impression of a cricketer. Needs more work Jade.

Shallow took to the field and proceeded to ensure they wouldn't lose. Only two of their players looked as if they had even played the game before. The rest batted as if they had read a book about cricket, and not really understood it. The run rate climbed to 8 an over and suddenly they woke up and realised they had better get some runs. They didn't get any runs. They got out.

65 for 1 in the 27th over gradually became 98 for 4 in the 35th. I cannot remember the detail of what happened after this as I had lost the will to live. We bowled well, particularly Keatsy and Jules who ended with 3 for 45 and 5 for 32 respectively. I think some were caught, some were bowled and there was an LBW.

Shallow ended on 162 for 8. They didn't lose so they must be very happy with themselves. Well done.

No doubt Bris, Connor, Keatsy and Jules will be getting the usual winter approach from Shallow's mister fixit to go and join them.

Down Under

When (Sir) Bob Geldof awoke from a sugar rush haze of space dust and sherbert UFO fuelled week long bender he wrote 'I Don't Like Mondays'. It went on, of course to inspire many a cry for help suicide bid amongst hormonal types across the Western world.

Long before the phrase 'Man Up' had been coined by Australian poofs the rest of us got on with our Monday's, resigned and determined to get on with life.

For the record I am not a massive fan of Monday's, but then who is?

Saturdays however are my most favourite day of the week, especially when we are playing cricket. We travelled the long and winding roads to Cublington this week. A pretty ground looking over rolling countryside, settled in the middle of a small village with a cracking pub in it.

Winning my second toss of the season I had no hesitation inviting them to have a bat. As they racked up 173 for 0 I was regretting this decision a little. As seems to be de rigeur in these parts they had an Aussie who manages to fit the Cherwell registration rules. Love to know where they found one. Anyway he bludgeoned 112 at more than a run a ball. It felt like we were being Tubbed again.

He rode his luck a little and almost killed Pritch. It was a Porsche Cayenne of an innings, ugly, fast and brutal. Well played. After his departure Cublington stuttered and appeared to have not a lot else to offer as they limped to 253 for 6 from 48 overs. A pretty impressive score, but at one stage I thought they might score 400!! Through the mayhem The Judge picked up his second successive 5fer. He was the only one who seemed to have a plan, and he bowled to it very well.

So, a sporting declaration, 254 to win from 52 overs. A few spots of rain at tea didn't alter the match and I believed we would win.

We got just the start we needed, 66 for the first wicket at 5 an over, Pritch finding some form and timing hit a solid 44, we were on our way. Our powerhouse top order failed against some accurate bowling as no one really got in. 93 for 4. My belief was wavering a bit now.

This brought Bernard to the crease to join Big Doug. I predict big things for this pairing. One more pleasing on the eye than the other, one more brutally effective. They took the game to Cublington. The chirping out in the middle disappeared and the fielders moved ever closer to the boundary. They scored 74 in 10 overs and put us right back in the match. Doug perished to what many thought was a brave LBW decision by the umpire, you don't see many given having skipped two big paces down the pitch and hit on the full. It changed the momentum of course. Shaun followed a little later with the score on 185. A more petulant departure from the crease is hard to remember, perhaps Dennis Lillee managed it.

They both played excellently, Shaun picked up 61 and top scored, they can both be proud.

The rest of the innings faded away as we continued to chase what would have been an unlikely victory. We fell short despite some effective hitting and never lost our belief that we could win. We could have blocked for the draw, but where is the fun and honour in that?

Afterwards we retired to the pub and had a marvellous time. The best bunch of lads we have played against for a long time and a cracking game of cricket

Next week we must beat Brackley. Failure to win will make next week an extremely black Monday.

Underdog

Oh what a night, late December back in '63............

I have no idea what this means, or what the Four Tops are up to these days. Who cares, we beat Cumnor this evening in the first round of the Bernard Tollett Knockout cup.

Our own Bernard had selected a youthful side, blended with the experience of a few mature, seasoned pros.

Cumnor turned up early looking exactly like the Division 1 side they are. Fit, lean, well drilled and perhaps expecting a relatively easy work out against the minnows from Division 5.

Asked to bat first they lost wickets regularly, first to Pritch, 2 for 37 opening the bowling with Northern Gravy keeping the other end tight on a pitch that actually had some bounce and life in it. Amazing what a bit of rain and Big Daddy magic can do.

Next up were Stan and Laurel whirling away. They had the cream of Cumnor bamboozled as they didn't know whether to stick or twist. Jules ended with 4 for 34 and ripped the heart out of the innings, Jordan finished with 2 for 16 and didn't get hit for one boundary. The best mid week bowling performances that either has produced for a long time, possibly ever. The ground fielding and catching was superb with special mentions to Big Doug, Griff and Baldrick. Bernard captained with a calmness that oozed confidence and made all the right calls.

They ended with 110 for 9 from 20 overs. Getable.

A short rain delay left us with a revised target of 98 to win from 19 overs. A good start was needed and we could win this.

Soon we were 9 for 3 with Viraj, Bris and Bernard back in the hutch. Oops. Cumnor were looking confident that this would all be over very soon and that their dismal batting display would soon be forgotten.

Guess again. Connor joined Matt at the crease. Neither looked troubled as they went about dismantling all 8 bowlers used by Cumnor. A mixture of powerful drives and cheeky singles from the pair wittled away at the target until we need around 4 an over. Connor finished on 34 and Matt on 53 from only 43 balls; both not out. We had done it with 2 full overs to spare.

What was most impressive was the calm focus displayed by the whole team. It is easy to say that Cumnor under estimated us and didn't play to their potential. We will never know. They had 7 first teamers playing, so i don't think they did under estimate us, and i think we didn't allow them to get in to the game. Let's take some credit here for a job well done.

I wonder who we will be playing in a fortnight? Hook Norton would be good. Some excellent pubs there.

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