You Better You Bet

Good evening. I start this penultimate blog of the season with grave news that will shock some of you and confirm some deep rooted suspicions in others

I have spent the day locked in interviews with The Cherwell League executive, ICC representatives and The Police.

Apparently irregular betting patterns were detected involving yesterdays match against Great Tew. A Far Eastern bookmaker based in Leighton Buzzard took two bets on Friday. The princely sum of £4.82 was placed on an accumulator bet that a run out would occur in the 43rd over of the Didcot innings followed by the dropping of a dolly catch in the 2nd over of the Great Tew innings. I cannot make any official comment but want to strenuously deny that these events are in any way linked. A similar dropped catch at Shipton the week before is also under investigation.

Yesterdays match was remarkable in that nothing remarkable happened, at all. The pitch was wet. Almost wet enough to cancel the match before we started. It was imperative that I won the toss and we bowled first. I lost and we batted. I know, I know; I only have one job to do and I got that wrong.

Pritch and Vish got us off to a great start, again bringing up 50 without loss. The ball kept low and stopped and we couldn't cope with the nagging accuracy of the Tew attack. Only Pritch passed 30. We were all out for 128 with nothing of note happening with the exception of a surprise run out in the 43rd over.

A splendid tea was consumed, homemade chicken tikka being a particular feature along with pavlova and a scrumptious selection of cakes.

We knew that Tew had a fragile batting line up and that with early wickets and scoreboard pressure this was still a game we could win. The pitch now seemed more even paced although batting still wasn't easy. Nothing of note happened in the first few overs with the exception of a dropped dolly catch in the 2nd over.

The spin twins applied said scoreboard pressure and were then backed up with some smart catching from 'showboat' Bernard and The Judge. The wickets didn't come early enough for us ever to feel like we were really in the hunt and Tew won by 5 wickets with plenty of time to spare. Not really a day to remember.

Results elsewhere guarantee us 3rd spot in Division 5.

The tour continues despite calls for lifetime bans and slapped legs. We travel to the wastelands of Brackley next week knowing that the result may still influence who plays in Division 5 next season. Don't bet against it.

Nice Weather For Ducks

I am starting with a musical recommendation this week. Those of you not familiar with Lemon Jelly are IMHO missing out on some classic downtempo English electronic wizardry. Check out '64-95' and Lost Horizons. Near perfect albums, both of them. My favourite is 'Ramblin' Man'. I defy anyone not to be inspired to travel and also be left with a feeling of wistful neglect that there are so many places yet to be visited.

Of course I only mention this for two reasons; most important is to hopefully encourage someone to discover Lemon Jelly and be inspired; also they wrote 'Nice Weather For Ducks' and I am a lover of the clumsy segue because that is exactly what it was yesterday, both literally and metaphorically.

We traveled to Shipton, 33 points above us, knowing that we needed our 'A' game and a slice of luck with the weather to have any chance of overhauling them and taking second place. At 74 for 0 chasing 185 to win hopes were high...........

Having called correctly we asked Shipton to have a bat. Matt bowled better than I have seen him for about 5 years, hostile and with prodigious movement off the seam (I was glad I had won the toss and we weren't batting). We had them at 23 for 4, all clean bowled by The Gravy. An honourable mention to The Don who also bowled beautifully but with no luck, on another day he would have taken five.

We took our foot off of their throat courtesy of two dropped catches, shamefully I was one of the culprits shelling an easy chance at slip. It is still haunting me this evening.

Shipton clawed their way to 103 before the next wicket as The Judge beat the defence of Shipton's Skipper. His mystery ball accounted for the next hapless soul and we were back on again. Wickets fell and runs were scored and Shipton ended on 184 for 9. We would have settled for that at the start, but it was 60 more than they should have got. Those damned dropped catches had cost us again. Matt finished with 7 for 60 and rightly lead us from the field to a tea as inspiring as the weather.

Pritch and Vish opened and gave us the perfect start rattling up 74 for the first wicket at more than 4 an over. It looked like we would canter home. Pritch departed after a stylish, confident 51, he knows he should have made it a ton but cannot be blamed for what happened next. We slumped to 87 for 5, including 4 ducks to add to Shiptons 3 (you see where I am going now?). Yet agin we had been undone by bowlers who simply bowl straight. Whether you call it filth or dibbly dobblers makes no difference. It was highly effective and too good for our middle order. At the other end Vish held firm. The run rate plummeted and we were well behind the pace as the rain started. It didn't stop. Game over.

The harsh reality is we don't deserve to finish second. Shipton and Tew have been better than us this season. We have two games left with pride to play for. With the exception of two players we have underperformed this year. I hope that the final two matches will see a few of us proving a few points and taking 50 points.

I Can't Stand The Rain

Hands Up, Baby Hands Up, Gimme Your Heart, Gimme, Gimme Your Heart, Gimme Gimme.

As a lyric this cannot have taken long to write. Jean Patrick, the lead singer of Ottowan is still touring in Russia where he is much loved and hasn't paid for a drink or a meal since September 1980 such is the idolatry . Ottowan also penned the disco classic, D.I.S.C.O.

She is D, desirable
She is I, irresistible
She is S, super sexy
She is C, such a cutie
She is O, oh, oh, oh

Ottowan spent even less time on the lyrics to this. Quite frankly Jean Patrick annoys me.

Anyhow, hands up who likes rain? Strangely the answer is probably about 50:50. The seconds profited enormously yesterday on a day when only a handful of matches produced a result. And what a result it was. Victory has increased the lead at the top to 34 points. Two more wins and it is time to start the celebrations.

Thirds and fourths were abandoned without a ball being bowled.

The field of dreams hosted half of what may have turned out to be a cracking game. The rain robbed us of what I am sure would have been another victory.

Invited to bat first under leaden skies and light drizzle my hopes were not high that we would get more than a few overs in. The instructions were simple: get out there and score quickly to set up an early declaration. The Judge and Peter Pan duly obliged and we had 50 on the board in 11 overs just as the sun came out. The now drying pitch started to misbehave a little and batting suddenly became much harder as the ball stopped and popped. 54 for 0 turned into 91 for 6 with only Pritch making a decent contribution of 40.

The Banbarians simply bowled straight and just back of a length and let the ball do the rest. Three of our top order got out playing across the line before they had worked out the pace. Now we were in a spot of bother and the declaration was a non starter as the sun continued to shine.

This mini crisis needed our fittest, leanest, most agile and lithe men. Sadly they were already out so it got Pingu and Skip. These two elderly men prodded around and rode their luck a bit and wore down the Banbarians with obdurate defence and delicate dabbing. The score inched above 120. We decided to have a crack at the spinner and all of a sudden we were above 140 on a pitch that would get harder to bat on. We both got out with 5 overs to go but had taken the score to par on this pitch.

The Don strode out to join The Caretaker in the middle having never scored a run for Didcot before. It would be inaccurate of me to say that he never looked like getting out. He did however show determination and fight and was able to let The Caretaker have plenty of the strike. The last 5 overs added 34 crucial runs to take us to 183 for 9. Jordan played superbly. He bludgeoned a couple of cracking fours and two sixes, including one from the last ball of the innings for the second time this season. A great knock, and one he looked like he enjoyed. Jim scored his first runs. His record of never getting out is also intact.

We all enjoyed a splendid tea provided by Jules and Emma. The turkey and cranberry rolls were especially fine. Amazingly the sun was still shining.

Soon afterwards the sun wasn't shining anymore. The heavens opened. We lost over an hour. Time was killed quizzing, with Peter Pan in his element as Bob Holness. It was a shame to bring the quiz to an end just as Brockett was displaying the unfathomable depths of his knowledge about Boy Bands. Who would have thought?

Sadly we only had time for 2 overs before the heavens opened again. Enough time to take one Banbury wicket.

The rain didn't stop and we shook hands. It was a pleasure to play a team that wanted to play for once. Too often this season the oppo. have looked for any excuse to call it a day early. Banbury were a credit to themselves for the spirit in which they approached the day.

Finishing second is going to be quite a challenge now. We simply must beat Shipton next week.

Goin' Through The Motions

Good evening one and all. A double helping of all things Didcot today. Last weekend was rather busy in the Gates household what with a cricket match and a wedding to squeeze in.

You know that saying 'If you can remember the '60's, you weren't there'? It's a reference to the amount of character altering chemical compounds consumed during the decade that gave birth to everything good in life. I can't remember much about last weekend, it is a blur of bubbles, cigar smoke and a snowman nose.

To be honest there wasn't much to report on last weeks game at home to Bledlow Ridge. To be honest there isn't much to report on yesterdays game either. Both matches had a sense of inevitability to them that started before a ball had been bowled. The only tension was at the coin toss really.

Having called correctly and invited Ridge to bat we duly set about the top order and soon had them at 45 for 5 with 3 wickets for The Gravy and 2 for Sean Cronje. Spectacular catches from The Judge and Showboat Pritchard backing up great opening spells from both bowlers. A period of consolidation from Ridge got them 92 before the fall of the sixth wicket when Cookie removed the unconventional Needham (we later learned he plays a lot of hockey) Laurel and Hardy joined the fun and The Gravy ended with 4 for 33 as Ridge withered to 123 All Out.

The chase was uneventful with Pritch and The Judge putting on 48 for the first wicket leaving Gravy and Cookie (doing his best Chris Tavare impression) to finish off. An 8 wicket victory achieved without ever needing to get out of second gear.

We travelled under dark, foreboding skies to Nondescripts yesterday knowing that a winning toss would all but guarantee a victory. It did.

In an almost carbon copy of the previous week we had Nondies at 39 for 5 with 3 for The Bisto kid and two for Stimpo. We lost 4 overs for rain and set off again with Nondies 6 down. A strange batting display from their top order. They appeared to have technical ability but were unable to concentrate for longer than about 10 minutes and ended up getting out just as they appeared comfortable, going for the big glory shot. Ahmed managed to get his knickers in a twist about something or other and duly tripped over them. He was still muttering about something only he heard hours later. Play the ball you muppet.

A wicket apiece for The Don, The Judge and The Caretaker (Le don, le juge, le gardien - a film by Luc Besson, coming to a cinema near you?). Stimpo finished off the tail to finish with 4 for 30 from 11 overs. 122 all out wasn't going to cause us any problems unless the rain intervened.

We set off at a clip and rattled up 60 for the first wicket, Pritch making a fluent 34. Brockett soon joined The Judge and they both carried their bats on the way to an 8 wicket win. Bris finishing on 42 and Jules on 34. Home and hosed by 6.10 we headed south to the FoD to watch the end of the seconds victory.

A stiffer test awaits next week as we welcome Banbury to the FoD. A must win game. At this stage of the season no one has scored a ton yet. Surely it is well overdue.

Wounded Knee

Good morning pop pickers and welcome to my last ever blog. As a single man that is. Some days I sit here searching far and wide in an attempt to dredge some nuggets of interest from the previous days cricketing fayre. This week there was no such problem after a day filled with incident, drama and nearly 600 runs.

We were on the road again, this time at Tiddington. My first visit to a lovely little ground, or at least that is how it looked when I arrived. Little did I know that it hides a dark, dark secret.

Winning the toss for the first time in a little while I had no hesitation in asking Tiddington to bat, a mistake of Hussain like proportions? Maybe.

There were very few highlights in our bowling and fielding performance as Tiddington racked up 310 for 7. There opener carried his bat on his way to an unbeaten 150. A classy knock with shots all around the wicket. He was well supported and made the most of a cracking track. We bowled with discipline and rarely looked ragged with the ball. A couple of spilt chances had they been taken may have restricted the score to under 300. Sometimes you have to give credit where it is due and say well batted.

The whole innings was marred by a nasty injury to Vish. For the first time I saw a cricketer leave the ground in an ambulance. Something I never want to see again. Showing 100% dedication to the Didcot cause Vish chased the ball to the boundary in an attempt to stop 4 overthrows, he slid into what we all assumed were painted wooden boundary boards. They were concrete. The thud was sickening. He didn't move. We all instantly knew it was bad.

Vish is in hospital today. Our hearts are with you little buddy.

Tea was a splendid affair featuring homemade chocolate bon-bons, homemade sausage rolls and ice lollies. Nathans melons were splendid also. (Thame: take note, there are shops not far away that sell food and milk).

Chasing 310 to win sets some challenges. Cookie set off like a train. He was super focused and in great nick. Tiddington weren't quite sure what to do and I felt went defensive with the field placings way too early. 5 fielders on the boundary after 6 overs when you have over 300 on the board is super defensive. Not surprisingly runs dried up. When we did find the boundary a fielder was instantly moved out to cut off the runs. I know that it isn't easy getting the balance right but sometimes you have to risk losing to win a game like this.

We accumulated runs none the less with contributions from everyone in the middle order. Bernard had his best innings in a Didcot shirt and proved that the £2.5M spent on his sojourn down under was money well spent. He mixed solid defense and careful shot selection with powerful clean hitting to notch up 95 from only 84 balls. He was well caught on the boundary, had this gone for 6 his second fifty would have taken him 24 balls. Well done Bernard.

This rousing display of power cricket lifted the Diddy spirits and when combined with Thatchers cider on draft was reminiscent of Taunton in the 80's with Viv and Botham at the crease. Splendid.

Incidentally, can anyone name three Nik Kershaw (star of the 80's) hits? There is a special prize waiting for anyone who actually reads this and posts an answer.

We ended on 268 for 6. Could we have won it? Maybe. Life is full of if's, buts and maybe's.

So, we return to the Field of Dreams next week after an extended break. I am looking forward to returning home. A few questions may be answered next week.

Can Bernards tea match his batting prowess? Will the phantom bunny concealer make an appearance? Who will fill Vish's (tiny) shoes? Will we get to see the wheelchair ramp used?

All will be revealed in a weeks time.....................

Hungry Like The Wolf

I am happy to report that the firsts recorded their first away win of the season yesterday at Thame.

Put in to bat on what looked like a sporting wicket with plenty of grass and some suspicious looking filled in patches didn't inspire much confidence. Two early wickets and the doom mongers were muttering about how we can't win away from home. At 56 for 7 with the ball cutting and seaming around corners combined with low and slow bounce it looked like we would do well to make it past the 68 we rolled Thame over for earlier this season.

It is not often that the skip gets in to bat with time to play himself in, let alone with 27 overs left. He was due a knock after about 4 years in the wilderness. With a sense of timing normally reserved for passing comets (they only come past once or twice every century) he dug deep, relishing the attritional nature and lack of pressure to score quickly. Joined by The Caretaker as the ninth wicket fell at 85 they put on 41 in an unbroken partnership that gave us a a total to bowl at. It was The Caretakers best innings this season and the skips best for more than 15 years.

Tea passed without incident or enjoyment; I mean who runs out of milk so that 3 cups of tea have to be shared? Pathetic.

Thame rarely appear to be 'up for it' and yesterday they looked even less interested than normal. Half their team stayed in the pavilion watching the golf. No supporting from the boundary from this lot.

This lack of interest and dysfunctional behaviour is pure gold for us. Early wickets from Morne and Northern Gravy had Thame reeling and out of the game at 11 for 4. This rapidly turned in to 19 for 7. Morne bowled slow medium pace cutters and was unplayable ending with 3 for 8 from 10 overs. Matt simply bowled full and straight and let the ball do the talking as he ended with 6 for 19.

We didn't drop a catch either. Nice.

Only two of Thame's side offered any sort of resistance with the unfortunate Richard Carr spooning a slow full toss straight to midwicket from Cookie. His departure ended any hope Thame had of pulling off an unlikely win as they were all out for 80.

Perhaps we needed a game like this to put some fire back in our belly. Results elsewhere went our way and finishing second is back in our hands now.

Next week we travel to Tiddington and need to be ravenously hungry for the 25 points. We must fight for every run and wicket like our very lives depend on it.

Nothing less than 100% effort is acceptable. I am looking for proof from every player that they want to win this league. No more excuses.

Frustration

It's back to the 70's tonight pop pickers. A decade that has left a lasting impression on popular culture. Who could forget Sweet, Mud, The Seekers and of course The Prodigy. Happy times.

Beer was about 10p a pint, petrol hadn't even been invented and a mobile phone was actually cemented into every street corner and painted red. You could leave your back door open as well in them days. People actually went to the pub to have a drink rather than a crayfish tossed in a balsamic reduction. I still enjoy a pickled egg in a bag of salt 'n' vinegar; mind, it is difficult to find a pub that sells pickled eggs these days. Progress, pah.

1974 witnessed the peak of The Drifters meteoric career. Born in Braintree before the 1960's The Drifters shuffled about aimlessly for years before Their chart smash 'Kissin in the Back Row of the Movies' sold 58 million copies in a week in the UK alone, it knocked 'Tiger Feet' off the top spot and started a feud between the two bands that was only settled 6 months later in a pub car park with bike chains and cudgels. (Mud won, obviously).

This song was a firm favourite in the Perera household. Viraj was bored of glam rock and had recently sold his platform shoes and silver jumpsuit. The easy listening, saucy, Drifters were an obvious replacement.

History doesn't record whether Jimmy Perera was present to watch The Drifters perform a barnstorming set at Swindon Oasis in 2008. All that is recorded is that a bolster cushion was requested to enable a small boy to see his favourite band. You can draw your own conclusions.

Challow visited the Field of Dreams and ruined a perfectly splendid day. How a side can be buoyed by such negative, dull aspirations is beyond me.

They fulfilled their dreams by not being in the game for even one ball and clung on by the skin of their teeth, nine down and 70 runs short. This sort of toss is what ruins cricket as a sport.

We were invited to bat first on the now traditional bowlers graveyard. Everyone got a few runs, Jimmy going on to notch up another half century. Is it time to kick on and pass that ton? I think so. Cookie and Bernard batted brilliantly and we added 100 runs between over 37 and 47, eventually ending on 257.

We were all reminded of what we missed from Dan Alderson on his return to Didcot.

Tea was spectacular. I have never seen so many varied homemade cakes. A stunning effort from Sarah Broughton that raises the bar to previously undreamed of levels. The Usain Bolt of cricket teas? I think so.

The Challow innings is hardly worthy of note. I wouldn't have bothered writing a single word had it not been for the introduction of Brought Filth for a simply stunning spell of 3 overs that saw him take his first ever First Team Cherwell League wickets. Ending with figures of 2 for 72 from 3 overs. I wish I could say he swung the game our way. I can't. Challow resorted to patting back slow full tosses and didn't even run for leg byes. My only hope is that they broke down or had a puncture on the way home.

After the match Jimmy rushed off to strap on his platform boots and head down the Roxy. The rest of us ate more pavlova and tried to forget a miserable afternoon.