Big Yellow Taxi

I sit down this evening in a far more bucolic mood than last week. The countryside was glorious today, a stroll on the Downs as the wind blustered about and the rain showers scudded past would have been relaxing enough, however basking in the afterglow of yesterday's win has left me with a warm feeling of contentment this evening.

My first visit to Cropredy did not disappoint in any way. A lovely ground moored between the River Cherwell and rolling buttercup strewn fields is what cricket is all about, the sun shone and everything was right. If I could just win a toss for once. I lost the toss. Again.

Invited to bat by Cropredy we set off at a fair lick as the opening bowlers struggled to find line or length. We pushed past 50 at 6 an over before Pritch got a straight one that kept low. Les had a very easy decision to make.

The Judge continued on past 50 for the second time this season before falling to the sucker punch. The umpire struck back. Clearly sensing that, at 118 for 1 we were in danger of batting the home side out of the game. Jules allowed an innocuous loosener to hit his pad. It did not matter that he was playing a shot, was hit outside the line and got a good stride in. He was out on the 'H' of 'How's'...... That is how quickly the finger went up. He took it well!!!!!!!!!!!

Cropredy's 14 year old leggie was bowling beautifully and risks could not afford to be taken by either Bernard or T'Gravy. They pushed the score on and Matt passed 50 and looked in good nick with a steely determination. Bernard departed with the score on 150 odd. He found the only fielder in the deep. He refused to believe his own eyes and stood staring in disbelief as he wished he had hit it either: Straighter, Squarer or harder.

Brockett joined Matt and they accelerated perfectly to 250 odd before Bris was out for 40 odd. Matt then kicked on and went past the ton in style. A superb innings that showed Matt was back to close to his best. The punch of the air released a lot of emotions in all of us. So, declaration made at 275 for 4. Over to Cropredy to see what they could do with their 50 overs.

A special mention has to be made at this point to the fielder who redefined what 'A shocker' is. He would have done no worse had he been dressed in leg irons and boxing gloves. I suspect he will never play cricket again and is now barred from Cropredy. How we smirked.

Cropredy were never in it. An early wicket brought excitement. Hussain batted like he had a flight to catch. As he ran himself out after he had scored his 50 it transpired that he actually had a cab to drive and was not going to miss out on the start of his shift. I kid you not.

He departed, and with him went hope. Sat in the back seat.

Jordan and Jules bowled 26 overs between them, taking 6 wickets for 45 runs. It ripped the heart out of their innings. Ably supported by Matt and a fine a Bernard run out we had them 9 down with 150 needed to win. Could we take the last, vital wicket? The overs ticked by.

Robbie came back on and did his best to hit the outside edge or the stumps. In the end it took an impulsive, wild yahoo! of a shot from the aforementioned shackled boxer. Angry Chris pouched the skier. Cue celebrations..............Hip, Hip Hoo bloomin Ray.

What did we learn?

The top six fired. The opening bowling has room for improvement. And Cropredy will be relegated. I can't wait for next week.

High, wide and handsome

Good evening brothers (and sisters).

A belated blog this week; it seems that juggling cricket, work and children is not perhaps as easy as I once hoped it might be. The squeeze had a birthday as well, so blame her for the late blogging.

Sadly, there were very few highlights from Saturday's tame performance against the market square heroes from Thame.

Following the toss McStay inserted his own team on what looked like a typical Didcot track. Somehow they racked up 206 from their 53 overs. I am going to gloss over much of our bowling performance, reliving it is too painful. The Judge and The Caretaker found good rhythm and control after an opening burst from the lad Jones had whipped out the first couple of wickets, including a great catch at slip from The Caretaker, who can look forward to many more afternoons bent over between Brockett and The Judge waiting to grab the ball.

Control was elusive for the first 20 overs as a plethora of wides, no balls and byes racked up. 35 of the first 60 runs were extras, enough said. I am sure that some time at the nets will sort out problems with run ups and line. I certainly hope so.

Anyway the spin twins whirled away and wrestled control back, 28 overs, 3 for 91 between them.

Spare a thought for Brockett who had more bruised fingers than Stevie Wonder after a nail the tail on the donkey game at Roy Orbisons 70th birthday party. The pitch was by now starting to misbehave a little, some staying low and some spitting nastily. Thame's Richard Carr wore one on the thumb. He is a native of Malta, and it takes very little to make him cross. Splitting his thumb open actually seemed to calm him down.

Anyway, tea was taken - thank you to Mr and Mrs Bernard. A super spread.

Our innings never really got going, wickets fell regularly until Brocket and Angry Chris put a partnership together to take us to 127 for 5. Both looked comfortable and well in control until the lethal combination of a trigger happy umpire and the demon pitch saw for them both. Good innings from both.

We fell short by 25 runs. Everyone in the top 9 will be thinking that had they gone on with their innings we would have won. That's all it would have taken.

So, lessons learned and plenty of mistakes not to be repeated.

We must, and will, do better against Cropredy.

Oxford Comma

*Sigh* Good evening pop pickers and welcome to another year of post Saturday musings. I have searched the literary annals for inspiration this year, I look in the mirror and hope to see Ernest Hemingway staring back at me. An inspirational figure who filled his life with travel and adventure, as well as the odd drop of rum and a fat Cohiba. Sadly I see Eddie Hemmings staring back at me. (Nippers had better consult Wikipedia to understand what I mean - a free snake awaits the first person to tell me what his highest test score was).

Is it really that time already? A proper winter this year gave way to a perfect spring and just as we were thinking this can't last; it didn't.

Predictably the rain lashed down on Friday night and our crushing victory of Banbury XX will have to wait 9 weeks.

So, what to do with a spare Saturday so early in the season? I paced about. Shouted at the cats. Threw the cats out. In the rain. Even that didn't lift my black mood. The next logical step was to pick a pointless argument with the squeeze, for it must be her fault that it has rained for the first time in SIX WEEKS. Now, female intuition is a marvellous thing, the squeeze caught me off guard with a preemptive strike and suggested that I head to the Field of Dreams and watch the seconds play. That's why I love her.

Thoroughly enjoyable it was too as I witnessed an absolute mauling of Oxford IV's.

Batting first, Diddy openers Kankadandiandiandiandi and the Judge notched up 70 odd in quick time with a mixture of late cuts, dabs and drives. A splendid start. Pras was the first to fall, gloriously. Santosh hopped to the crease and picked up where Pras left off, some expansive, head in the air drives outside off stump would probably have been very impressive had a connection been made. The pull shots did connect and were stupendous. The ton was up in quick time as Bernard strode manfully to the crease. He stared looking like someone who had been to Austria to hone his skills before starting to look like a batsman and clubbing a marvellous straight six.

Meanwhile the Judge was accumulating a competent half century, never looking troubled, apart from a suicidal single that brought out the best comedy fielding moment of the season so far as Oxford screwed up monumentally - how we laughed.

In a lesson that we can all learn from he then got out when well set for what should have been a fine century. I am sure other opportunities are just around the corner.

Meanwhile AB was moving steadily toward another red inker, the perfect situation for the Accumulator, nudging and nurdling and resolutely turning down down sharp singles until ball six he provided solidity and impetus at the same time. Joined for the final 8 overs by Rob "I have a BMW, have I told you?" Keat they pushed the score up to 248 for 4. Rob delivered exactly what he has threatened to just when he needed to. He can rightfully claim the outside lane of the motorway as his own now.

Oxford got off to a solid start before Northern Gravy was rewarded for a fine spell of medium paced bowling with the first wicket.

The match seemed to be drifting until the introduction of Footpenis who found the just the right spot on the wicket, combined with his stature (he is only 4ft 2" tall) he found a couple of shooters and before he knew had 4 for not many, ripping the middle order out. Meanwhile Sam Baldrick had a cunning plan; bowling with fine control and prodigious turn he mopped up most of the lower oder and finished with a 4fer that was well deserved. Jones returned and pinned back the off stump of number 11 and it was all over. 25 points and not quite six o'clock.

Hopefully I will actually be playing next Saturday rather than cursing the weather, until then...........

Skip

You Better You Bet

Good evening. I start this penultimate blog of the season with grave news that will shock some of you and confirm some deep rooted suspicions in others

I have spent the day locked in interviews with The Cherwell League executive, ICC representatives and The Police.

Apparently irregular betting patterns were detected involving yesterdays match against Great Tew. A Far Eastern bookmaker based in Leighton Buzzard took two bets on Friday. The princely sum of £4.82 was placed on an accumulator bet that a run out would occur in the 43rd over of the Didcot innings followed by the dropping of a dolly catch in the 2nd over of the Great Tew innings. I cannot make any official comment but want to strenuously deny that these events are in any way linked. A similar dropped catch at Shipton the week before is also under investigation.

Yesterdays match was remarkable in that nothing remarkable happened, at all. The pitch was wet. Almost wet enough to cancel the match before we started. It was imperative that I won the toss and we bowled first. I lost and we batted. I know, I know; I only have one job to do and I got that wrong.

Pritch and Vish got us off to a great start, again bringing up 50 without loss. The ball kept low and stopped and we couldn't cope with the nagging accuracy of the Tew attack. Only Pritch passed 30. We were all out for 128 with nothing of note happening with the exception of a surprise run out in the 43rd over.

A splendid tea was consumed, homemade chicken tikka being a particular feature along with pavlova and a scrumptious selection of cakes.

We knew that Tew had a fragile batting line up and that with early wickets and scoreboard pressure this was still a game we could win. The pitch now seemed more even paced although batting still wasn't easy. Nothing of note happened in the first few overs with the exception of a dropped dolly catch in the 2nd over.

The spin twins applied said scoreboard pressure and were then backed up with some smart catching from 'showboat' Bernard and The Judge. The wickets didn't come early enough for us ever to feel like we were really in the hunt and Tew won by 5 wickets with plenty of time to spare. Not really a day to remember.

Results elsewhere guarantee us 3rd spot in Division 5.

The tour continues despite calls for lifetime bans and slapped legs. We travel to the wastelands of Brackley next week knowing that the result may still influence who plays in Division 5 next season. Don't bet against it.

Nice Weather For Ducks

I am starting with a musical recommendation this week. Those of you not familiar with Lemon Jelly are IMHO missing out on some classic downtempo English electronic wizardry. Check out '64-95' and Lost Horizons. Near perfect albums, both of them. My favourite is 'Ramblin' Man'. I defy anyone not to be inspired to travel and also be left with a feeling of wistful neglect that there are so many places yet to be visited.

Of course I only mention this for two reasons; most important is to hopefully encourage someone to discover Lemon Jelly and be inspired; also they wrote 'Nice Weather For Ducks' and I am a lover of the clumsy segue because that is exactly what it was yesterday, both literally and metaphorically.

We traveled to Shipton, 33 points above us, knowing that we needed our 'A' game and a slice of luck with the weather to have any chance of overhauling them and taking second place. At 74 for 0 chasing 185 to win hopes were high...........

Having called correctly we asked Shipton to have a bat. Matt bowled better than I have seen him for about 5 years, hostile and with prodigious movement off the seam (I was glad I had won the toss and we weren't batting). We had them at 23 for 4, all clean bowled by The Gravy. An honourable mention to The Don who also bowled beautifully but with no luck, on another day he would have taken five.

We took our foot off of their throat courtesy of two dropped catches, shamefully I was one of the culprits shelling an easy chance at slip. It is still haunting me this evening.

Shipton clawed their way to 103 before the next wicket as The Judge beat the defence of Shipton's Skipper. His mystery ball accounted for the next hapless soul and we were back on again. Wickets fell and runs were scored and Shipton ended on 184 for 9. We would have settled for that at the start, but it was 60 more than they should have got. Those damned dropped catches had cost us again. Matt finished with 7 for 60 and rightly lead us from the field to a tea as inspiring as the weather.

Pritch and Vish opened and gave us the perfect start rattling up 74 for the first wicket at more than 4 an over. It looked like we would canter home. Pritch departed after a stylish, confident 51, he knows he should have made it a ton but cannot be blamed for what happened next. We slumped to 87 for 5, including 4 ducks to add to Shiptons 3 (you see where I am going now?). Yet agin we had been undone by bowlers who simply bowl straight. Whether you call it filth or dibbly dobblers makes no difference. It was highly effective and too good for our middle order. At the other end Vish held firm. The run rate plummeted and we were well behind the pace as the rain started. It didn't stop. Game over.

The harsh reality is we don't deserve to finish second. Shipton and Tew have been better than us this season. We have two games left with pride to play for. With the exception of two players we have underperformed this year. I hope that the final two matches will see a few of us proving a few points and taking 50 points.

I Can't Stand The Rain

Hands Up, Baby Hands Up, Gimme Your Heart, Gimme, Gimme Your Heart, Gimme Gimme.

As a lyric this cannot have taken long to write. Jean Patrick, the lead singer of Ottowan is still touring in Russia where he is much loved and hasn't paid for a drink or a meal since September 1980 such is the idolatry . Ottowan also penned the disco classic, D.I.S.C.O.

She is D, desirable
She is I, irresistible
She is S, super sexy
She is C, such a cutie
She is O, oh, oh, oh

Ottowan spent even less time on the lyrics to this. Quite frankly Jean Patrick annoys me.

Anyhow, hands up who likes rain? Strangely the answer is probably about 50:50. The seconds profited enormously yesterday on a day when only a handful of matches produced a result. And what a result it was. Victory has increased the lead at the top to 34 points. Two more wins and it is time to start the celebrations.

Thirds and fourths were abandoned without a ball being bowled.

The field of dreams hosted half of what may have turned out to be a cracking game. The rain robbed us of what I am sure would have been another victory.

Invited to bat first under leaden skies and light drizzle my hopes were not high that we would get more than a few overs in. The instructions were simple: get out there and score quickly to set up an early declaration. The Judge and Peter Pan duly obliged and we had 50 on the board in 11 overs just as the sun came out. The now drying pitch started to misbehave a little and batting suddenly became much harder as the ball stopped and popped. 54 for 0 turned into 91 for 6 with only Pritch making a decent contribution of 40.

The Banbarians simply bowled straight and just back of a length and let the ball do the rest. Three of our top order got out playing across the line before they had worked out the pace. Now we were in a spot of bother and the declaration was a non starter as the sun continued to shine.

This mini crisis needed our fittest, leanest, most agile and lithe men. Sadly they were already out so it got Pingu and Skip. These two elderly men prodded around and rode their luck a bit and wore down the Banbarians with obdurate defence and delicate dabbing. The score inched above 120. We decided to have a crack at the spinner and all of a sudden we were above 140 on a pitch that would get harder to bat on. We both got out with 5 overs to go but had taken the score to par on this pitch.

The Don strode out to join The Caretaker in the middle having never scored a run for Didcot before. It would be inaccurate of me to say that he never looked like getting out. He did however show determination and fight and was able to let The Caretaker have plenty of the strike. The last 5 overs added 34 crucial runs to take us to 183 for 9. Jordan played superbly. He bludgeoned a couple of cracking fours and two sixes, including one from the last ball of the innings for the second time this season. A great knock, and one he looked like he enjoyed. Jim scored his first runs. His record of never getting out is also intact.

We all enjoyed a splendid tea provided by Jules and Emma. The turkey and cranberry rolls were especially fine. Amazingly the sun was still shining.

Soon afterwards the sun wasn't shining anymore. The heavens opened. We lost over an hour. Time was killed quizzing, with Peter Pan in his element as Bob Holness. It was a shame to bring the quiz to an end just as Brockett was displaying the unfathomable depths of his knowledge about Boy Bands. Who would have thought?

Sadly we only had time for 2 overs before the heavens opened again. Enough time to take one Banbury wicket.

The rain didn't stop and we shook hands. It was a pleasure to play a team that wanted to play for once. Too often this season the oppo. have looked for any excuse to call it a day early. Banbury were a credit to themselves for the spirit in which they approached the day.

Finishing second is going to be quite a challenge now. We simply must beat Shipton next week.

Goin' Through The Motions

Good evening one and all. A double helping of all things Didcot today. Last weekend was rather busy in the Gates household what with a cricket match and a wedding to squeeze in.

You know that saying 'If you can remember the '60's, you weren't there'? It's a reference to the amount of character altering chemical compounds consumed during the decade that gave birth to everything good in life. I can't remember much about last weekend, it is a blur of bubbles, cigar smoke and a snowman nose.

To be honest there wasn't much to report on last weeks game at home to Bledlow Ridge. To be honest there isn't much to report on yesterdays game either. Both matches had a sense of inevitability to them that started before a ball had been bowled. The only tension was at the coin toss really.

Having called correctly and invited Ridge to bat we duly set about the top order and soon had them at 45 for 5 with 3 wickets for The Gravy and 2 for Sean Cronje. Spectacular catches from The Judge and Showboat Pritchard backing up great opening spells from both bowlers. A period of consolidation from Ridge got them 92 before the fall of the sixth wicket when Cookie removed the unconventional Needham (we later learned he plays a lot of hockey) Laurel and Hardy joined the fun and The Gravy ended with 4 for 33 as Ridge withered to 123 All Out.

The chase was uneventful with Pritch and The Judge putting on 48 for the first wicket leaving Gravy and Cookie (doing his best Chris Tavare impression) to finish off. An 8 wicket victory achieved without ever needing to get out of second gear.

We travelled under dark, foreboding skies to Nondescripts yesterday knowing that a winning toss would all but guarantee a victory. It did.

In an almost carbon copy of the previous week we had Nondies at 39 for 5 with 3 for The Bisto kid and two for Stimpo. We lost 4 overs for rain and set off again with Nondies 6 down. A strange batting display from their top order. They appeared to have technical ability but were unable to concentrate for longer than about 10 minutes and ended up getting out just as they appeared comfortable, going for the big glory shot. Ahmed managed to get his knickers in a twist about something or other and duly tripped over them. He was still muttering about something only he heard hours later. Play the ball you muppet.

A wicket apiece for The Don, The Judge and The Caretaker (Le don, le juge, le gardien - a film by Luc Besson, coming to a cinema near you?). Stimpo finished off the tail to finish with 4 for 30 from 11 overs. 122 all out wasn't going to cause us any problems unless the rain intervened.

We set off at a clip and rattled up 60 for the first wicket, Pritch making a fluent 34. Brockett soon joined The Judge and they both carried their bats on the way to an 8 wicket win. Bris finishing on 42 and Jules on 34. Home and hosed by 6.10 we headed south to the FoD to watch the end of the seconds victory.

A stiffer test awaits next week as we welcome Banbury to the FoD. A must win game. At this stage of the season no one has scored a ton yet. Surely it is well overdue.